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Monologue from Moving Day Sharon has been searching for the radio for hours because the family took the tv with them in case the hotel didn't have one. Sharon: Hello? Did you see it? What? In the blue case. Yeah, in the blue case. I put it there yesterday. No, it’s not in the big one, that’s for the kids. Your kit is in the blue...why aren’t you watching Apollo? Are the kids watching at least? I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m a little excited, I guess. In the blue case. Left hand side, in the pocket. Bye. (She hangs up. She catches a small article at the bottom right of the page. She squints.) China explodes A-Bomb. Whoa! I didn’t know that. You’ve come a long way, baby... (She pulls out a ten inch dixie-cup ball.) John gave me money for a class. Crafts For Moms. That’s what housewives do, isn’t it? Have nice hobbies? (to the ball) What Johnny doesn’t know is I took that money and enroled in an after school program for adults. Architectural Drafting 1. Full of guys building things. (all macho) Garages, gazebos, POTTING SHEDS! I had a crazy notion. That’s what housewives do, isn’t it? Get crazy notions? Mr. Tilbert was a big gruff guy with a mustache blacker than the hair on the top of his head. He liked to crack jokes. It was a fun class. I got my assignment, walked home, walked downstairs to the laundrey room and secretly drafted the perfet house. I made a model of my house and brought it in. (to Mr. Tilbert) Um...it’s a great shelter for people who survive earthquakes or floods and need a safe place to...shelter.” Mr. Tilbert held it up and looked at it from all angles. He looked impressed. “It can go up in seconds and be taken down just as quickly if people need to move. But! It can withstand strong winds and won’t fall down in a tremour. “ The guys all smiled and nodded. Mr. Tilbert put the model on my desk and said, “Look class, Sharon made herself a little fort. Cute. Now. What’ve we got here?” I picked up my model, walked out the door, walked home, walked down the basement stairs to the laundrey room. It weighed a ton. I didn’t have the strength to smash it. My hands were sealed in cement... That was five years ago today. (looks around, whispers to the ball) It’s around here somewhere, in a box, tick, tick, tick... |
| Scene From Fireweeds Irma appears, ladling food on a tin plate. IRMA: Amy, come eat. AMY: Rabbit stew again? IRMA: Don’t whine. Say grace, please. AMY: With desecrated- IRMA: Desiccated. AMY: Desecrated! IRMA: Desiccated! AMY: ...vegetables. AMY: GOD PUT MAMMALS ON THIS FROZEN NORTH FOR OUR DOMINION SO THE PREACHERS SAY BUT WITH DUE RESPECT TO THE CREATOR THIS IS THE THIRD RABBIT STEW I’VE HAD TODAY I GUESS I SHOULD BE HAPPY, I SHOULDN’T BE SO SNAPPY ESPECIALLY SINCE THERE’S NOTHING ELSE AROUND A WONDERFUL VERSATILE CREATURE, SO MANY POSSIBILITIES ABOUND! YOU CAN FRICASSEE A RABBIT, YOU CAN SHISH KABOB A RABBIT Irma tries to cheer up Amy. IRMA: They outnumber us and the dogs three to one. We should make a harness for em. Pack rabbits! Ha. AMY: YOU CAN SKIN, SAUTÉ AND STEW IT OR PUREE, IF YOU CAN’T CHEW IT IRMA: Rumour goin’ around the camp. Thirty or forty of ‘em carried off a miner the other day. Amy’s still not biting. AMY: IF YOU WANT A CHANGE OF DIET YOU CAN MARINATE AND FRY IT IRMA: YOU CAN COOK A CRUST AND PUT IT IN A PIE! AMY: YOU CAN BOIL IT IN A BUCKET IF YOU BURN IT, IRMA: CHUCK IT! AMY: YOU CAN ROAST A RUMP OF RABBIT IF YOU SEE ONE YOU JUST GRAB IT IRMA: YOU CAN SPLIT A HARE AND SHARE IT ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SNARE IT AMY: JUST AS LONG AS YOU DON’T LOOK IT IN THE EYE IRMA: CAN YOU WARM YOUR FINGERS WITH A JUICY STEAK? HMM?...CAN YOU DO ALL THAT WITH MUTTON STEW? WHAT KIND OF BLANKET WOULD A GRAVY MAKE? CAN YOU HAVE YOUR CAKE, AND WEAR IT TOO? | YOU CAN WEAR IT IF YOU PLAN IT, YOU CAN SHAVE THE SKIN AND TAN IT YOU CAN CLEAN THE FUR AND SKIM IT YOU CAN MAKE A HAT AND TRIM IT YOU COULD BUILD A FRAME AND STRETCH IT ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FETCH IT YOU CAN MAKE A MATCHING RABBIT TIE AND VEST They work themselves up into a frenzy. AMY: YOU CAN WEAVE IT YOU CAN SEW IT IRMA: YOU CAN MAKE A RUG AND THROW IT AMY: FOR THE WALLS YOU NEEDN’T PAPER ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS DRAPE ‘ER IRMA: LINE YER MUKLUKS IF IT’S MUCKY AMY: IF YER FEELING LESS THAN LUCKY YOU CAN KEEP THE FOOT AND THROW AWAY THE REST BOTH: GET A BIRD IN YOUR HAND IF YOU CAN IF NOT, THERE’S A BUNNY IN THE PAN SHOULD I BE HAPPY IF A RABBIT’S ALL I GET? WHEN IT’S WINTER, AND I’M STARVING AND I HAVE NO BIRD FOR CARVING AND THERE’S STILL NO SIGN OF SPRING? YOU BET! Having convinced themselves of their good fortune they scoop up a heaping, disgusting looking spoonful. BOTH: UGH! |